Photo Credit: Stuart Lawler
KERRY CLARE is the author three novels: Asking for a Friend (out now from Doubleday Canada), Waiting for a Star to Fall and Mitzi Bytes, and editor of The M Word: Conversations About Motherhood.
A National Magazine Award-nominated essayist, and editor of Canadian books website 49thShelf.com, she writes about books and reading at her long time blog, Pickle Me This. She lives in Toronto with her family.
Words Worth: Hi Kerry Clare! I'm so happy to be chatting with you!
Since I work in a bookstore, I'll start by asking what you're reading right now and what's coming out soon that you're excited about?
Kerry Clare: I'm just finishing Charlene Carr's second novel, We Rip The World Apart, to be followed by Waubgeshig Rice's Moon Of The Turning Leaves (which I'm late to, but I gave it to my husband for Christmas, and so had to wait for him to receive the gift and read it before I could steal it), and next up after that is As Long As The Lemon Trees Grow, by Zoulfa Katouh, which I gave to my teen daughter for Christmas and which she initially picked up begrudgingly ("It looks SAD!!") and then was absolutely swept away by (points for Mom!).
This spring I am excited to read Ariel Gordon's new book on mushrooms, Fungal (coming from Hamilton’s Wolsak & Wynn), and Adrienne Gruber's Monsters, Martyrs, and Marionettes. Kate Hilton and Liz Renzetti's cozy mystery Bury The Lead is a lot of fun, and Emily Austin's new novel Interesting Facts About Space is MAGNIFICENT!
WW: Kerry, I've been reading and loving your writing for so many years now, as you know.
I have made an executive decision that your newest book, ASKING FOR A FRIEND is the absolute perfect book for Valentine's Day because of its depiction of deep, female friendship. I know you will obviously agree. Let's talk about why and how did you write such a wonderful book about the often overlooked relationship?
Kerry: I love this decision! Thank you, Sarah! I wrote a love story about female friendships because my own friendships have been some of the great love stories of my life, defining and enduring. And they've not been easy—though it feels like they are more so now as we settle into middle age. But staying in touch with each other as we were becoming ourselves (and not always our best selves) was hard work, and I wanted to write about that challenging process, which many readers have identified with, the complexity, fiction and strife. Although I was surprised by others who didn't get it, and labelled the relationship between Jess and Clara "toxic" and decided that they would have been advised to break up at the end of Chapter One if the novel were a romance. I was not expecting that! And that's interesting too because while there is not a cultural script for navigating long friendships (as there is for, just say, marriage) there is also something less disposable about friendships as opposed to romantic relationships. It's unusual to break up with a friend. Which is where the crux of the book comes in—how do you know if an old friendship is worth holding on to? That's something we have to figure out on our own, and it's a tough question sometimes. But I am glad that Jess and Clara persisted.
WW: What are some other books about female friendships that you love? (for instance, help me make a display!)
Kerry: Wahala, by Nikki May; Big Friendship by Aminata Sow and Ann Friedman; The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan; Summer Sisters by Judy Blume; The Last Goldfish by Anita Lehey; In The Shade by Marg Heidebrecht; Who We Are Now by Lauryn Chamberlain; Old Books, Rare Friends by Madeline B. Stern and Leona Rostenberg; A Memoir of Friendship by Carol Shields and Blanche Howard; Beaches by Iris Rainer Dart; And Tomorrow And Tomorrow And Tomorrow by Gabrille Zevin, which might not be female friendship, but it shows that friendship between men and women can be beautiful love stories too.
WW: You write a lot about swimming and tea and plants in your book, why is that? And I love it by the way!
Kerry: Whenever I write a novel, I always end up using whatever I have around the house, and swimming and tea are pretty ubiquitous in my day-to-day life, so they couldn't help to creep into my narrative. Tea was never actually important to me during the years I spent contemporaneously with Jess and Clara in university, and wasn't a staple in my life until I lived in England a few years later. But during my years there, I really bought into the idea of "putting the kettle on" being a monumental occasion, a kind of sacred ritual, and I think it becomes that way between Clara and Jess for sure.
I didn't set out to write a swimming book, but the swimming scenes found their way into the story as a wonderful way for the characters to be intimate and vulnerable with each other, for the barriers between them to crumble down.
And the plants are a big deal in Clara's story. There is something very luscious and fecund about Clara (even though she struggles to get pregnant and have children) and I think all the growing things in her realm are pointing to that. I am still very much in love with her residence room, which I vividly remember filling with her ‘stuff’ when I wrote the book's opening scene almost a decade ago now. Like Jess, Clara is very much the kind of person that I've always wanted to be like.
WW: In your story, there is a strong sense of home throughout the women's lives? Was this intentional?
Kerry: It was, as much as one intends anything in fiction! Quickly the themes emerged and it was clear that both women had found a sense of home in each other—and there would be a sense of exile whenever they were estranged or apart.
WW: This isn't a spoiler. The friendship between Clara and Jess—which is written about so beautifully, I get goosebumps thinking of it—begins with a hard situation for Jess, she's looking to have an abortion. Why was it important for you to start their story here?
Kerry: I love the idea of an abortion as the beginning of a story, which we don't see very often in narrative—usually it's a painful decision that comes at the end. But in real life, abortion is just a single plot point in a story that is (hopefully) rich and long. I had an abortion when I was 23 and it really was the gateway to my real adult life, a life of consequence. This also shows us just what the stakes are, how much human potential can be snuffed out, when abortion access is restricted.
WW: Can you tell us about your writing process?
Kerry: Asking For A Friend is actually my second novel, although it's the third one I've published. I started writing it once I'd signed the deal to publish my first novel Mitzi Bytes, and wrote it in between edits for that book, and then the writing/editing of Waiting For A Star To Fall. I have learned SO MUCH about writing novels since I started building Clara's room on the page all those years ago. The novel really came to life when I started to dig deeper and realize who my characters were and really start mapping their complicated emotional terrain. All my novels, I've written little by little, 500 or 1000 words a day. One step at a time is the only way I know how to get anywhere!
WW: What are you working on now? What's exciting in your world?
Kerry: I just finished work on a book I've been writing here and there since 2021. It's called ONE HAND IN MY POCKET, a modern day twist on a Barbara Pym novel, about a woman who blows up her marriage and decides to build a new life from scratch. It's inspired by equal-parts Katherine Heiny and Emily Henry. The title refers to the fact that (like Alanis circa "Jagged Little Pill") she doesn't have it all figured out just yet.
My other cool things are that I'm launching a podcast in March called BOOKSPO, in which authors enthuse about the works that inspired their new releases. And I've committed to writing an essay a month on substack this year, a focused exercise that's an attempt to defragment my brain after too many years too much on social media.
Publishing books is tough so it's nice to be able to return to my original credo, which is GET EXCITED AND MAKE STUFF.
We are so thankful to Kerry for taking the time to speak with Sarah! You can get more from Kerry at picklemethis.com or on Instagram.